Sunday, June 23, 2013

it was then that I carried you. and over there is where you threw a fit....

Have any of you heard the whole poem about "it was then that I carried you?"

Yeah it's sweet and all but that is NOT how my journey with God has been. Not at all. I'm pretty sure I've already mentioned this, but I have been known to be a bit stubborn... (read: crazy, insane level of stubborn that my poor mother didn't know existed until I came along).

So the first time I saw this picture, I just about died laughing.


The more I thought about this picture, the more I realized it was so true in my life! And I was actually talking to a friend about the fact that, for me, this could even be expanded on.

"And over there is where you ran off and threw a tantrum."

"And that's the thorn bush I had to pull you out of."

"Over there is the cliff I kept you from falling off of..."

"That's the dark cave you tried to hide in."

Not to mention that the part where He dragged me, I was probably kicking and screaming and throwing a heck of a fit.

I don't know if this sounds familiar to anyone else but I know this has been true in my life. I don't mean for it to sound like I don't take God seriously. Please believe that I really and truly do. I have been a thorn in His side for years, but He stuck with me. Despite all of the tantrums and running off, and just laying on the ground and complaining about how hard life is.... He has stuck by me.

He has put up with so much crap from me, but do you know what? He still loves me. God loves me. Why? Because I am His child. His creation. And as a friend said last night, we are able to reflect God's light out to the world. (maybe I can get her to write out that description because it was truly beautiful!)

So yeah. Despite that fact that I am stubborn as a mule. And I throw fits like a 2-yr old in need of a nap... God loves me.

I get excited and run ahead and He gently calls me back. He reminds me about why balance is important. Why wanting to head in the right direction is good, but why I need to do it with Him. I will fail on my own. Every time. No matter how well I think I am doing, I am nothing apart from God. But with Him... Life is truly beautiful.

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