maybe the little things aren't always little

So I am definitely one of those people that sets out thinking about how well off I am and how I need to help those less fortunate than me. Over this semester particularly though, I am really beginning to see in a whole new way that money is far from being the only thing that matters.

I say that because for a long time, I always made sure to buy The Contributor from anyone I saw. I never tipped them. I never really spoke to them. But I felt really good about myself (oh and I never bothered to read any of the stuff either!).

Well a while back I remember someone telling me that if you couldn't afford to buy a paper, at least carry around something to give to them, like water or little peanut butter and crackers or even baby wipes (heck, all of the above if you can!), and then one you see someone, just offer them something.

Small gesture, right? I mean, you can get over 30 water bottles for less than $4 at Costco. So basically I started doing this to ease my conscience. (and I hope you can all read the rest of this in the spirit it is written. this really has nothing to do with me being an awesome person or something).

I didn't think giving out water would have much of an impact on me. How wrong I was! The first time I handed a man a water bottle, something in me started to break. What is this man's life like? He is a person just like all my friends and family. God loves this man! And 90% (or more) or the time, I have just driven past these people or thought of them simply collectively as "the homeless."

That is not how God sees them.

I drive the same route five days a week at pretty much the same time every day. So over the past 2 months or so, I have seen the same man, almost every day. I miss him when he isn't there. I wonder if he is ok. If he is there, he is just such a blessing. No matter what the day has been like, he brings a smile to my face. I give him a water bottle each day (and yes, I take it in to work so that the water is at least a bit cool), and every time a new paper comes out, he gives me a copy.

It started out as me wanting to ease my conscience. And now... I don't even know how to explain it. This man is such a blessing to me in ways I can't describe. He knows essentially nothing about me except that my name is Claire, I bring him water most days, and I drive a red car. I know his name is Demetrius. I know he waves at me in such an excited way each day that I drive up. And I know that every day I see him, he just blesses my heart.

I can't afford to give him money every day, but I can afford to give him a bottle of water. I have no clue what his background is, nor does he know anything of mine. But each day, we greet each other with a smile. I don't know who is more excited to see who.

Why do I say all of this? Because I am all too often focused on me (simply look at my posts and note the number of "I," "me," "mine," "my," etc.). Yet God has been able to open my eyes to see others. Yes, God cares deeply about me. And He cares deeply about all of His children. Demetrius is one of God's children and I will miss him so very much when this internship is done.

It's is so strange the things that I see when I am just open to God revealing things to me. This week started out pretty crappy, but every day, Demetrius brightens my day. I don't know where he goes when he isn't standing on that corner. I wonder on nights like tonight when it is pouring rain if he has somewhere dry to go. And I realize that these are the things in life that are important. Little things or inexpensive things often seem silly (or even free, like a smile) but they can do the heart so much good. So often we take things like food and water and shelter and clean clothes for granted! And yet if you think about it, there are so many people who don't know where their next meal is coming from. They can't afford the $2 to go buy a bottle of water (and yes, that is what a cold bottle of water costs in most stores here).

So often I get so obsessed with having the "right" things or the "cool" things. And I forget just how very blessed I am! I have all of my physical needs met. I have a wonderful church home. My family, while irritating at times... I know they love me and I love them. It's not all about the money. Sometimes its just a small gesture to say hey, I see you and so does God. And when it just becomes part of every day life... it is just the coolest thing ever!

We used to sing a song at church that I didn't understand. It said "Open the eyes of my heart Lord. I want to see You." I think I understand that so much better after meeting Demetrius. So tonight, I am sitting down to read my newest copy of The Contributor and I am going to say a prayer for Demetrius and all the other men and women and children who don't even have the things we take for granted. And I am going to thank God for allowing me to see Demetrius because he never fails to brighten my day.